They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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