someone get that fucking seahorse.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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