Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
