Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
