So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I currently don't understand fingers.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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