he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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