Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
