She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
