So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize