Im at strip club and am horny
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
