You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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