is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
