Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
