i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize