Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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