it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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