By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
