Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
