you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize