i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
