I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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