oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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