Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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