a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
