Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
