At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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