Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I will pee on everything he values.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
