I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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