Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
