I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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