guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
