I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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