Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
