I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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