being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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