I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
