do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
