AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
