Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
