gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
