Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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