They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
