Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
