he told me I talked like a deaf person
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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