I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
