Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
