i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
