decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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