the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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