I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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