Your face is a jimmy john
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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