Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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