First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
