What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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