Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
