Cold hands, warm shart.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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