BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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