I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
