Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
