you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
