Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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