Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
