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I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Less talking, more tequila
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
