she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
