she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Vodka?
Forever.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
