omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
