I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Michael Bay diarrhea
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Let's paint friendship bongs
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I could fuck to npr.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
