I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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